im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Green mimosas i think yes
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
