i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Houston, we have a blender
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
