I don't usually arrange sex via text message
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize