So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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