If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Pooping to opera.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
