just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
