between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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