I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
