Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
