i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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