If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Randomize
