i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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