Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
