I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
