I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
