sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
