dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
