I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
