I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
