ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize