I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize