Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
