My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
