Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
