end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
