the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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