we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize