And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize