Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
