how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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