do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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