The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
