Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
