Porn is love you can see.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
