super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
