I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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