Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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