im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
