Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
