The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
