Do you still have your period?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
