Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
