Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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