Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
