if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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