I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
