all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
