You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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