She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
