Me. At least after what I've been through.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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