We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
