i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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