East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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