She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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