wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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