Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So much rum. So many feels.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
