Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
