i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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